How to Get Rid of Low Self-Esteem and a Wrong Mindset

(Last Updated On: November 23, 2018)

Having the right mindset or perspective is crucial to success and a healthy outlook on life. Its enemies, low self-esteem, and depression can result in unfulfillment and tons of unnecessary problems in life. Add procrastination to that and you have a winning recipe for a total breakdown, regret, and living in a rut.

Are you underachieving while the world has gone ahead and left you behind? — if that’s the case, you need a new mindset, and you need to be accountable to someone.

Get Counseling – Find a Mentor.

  • You want to live the rest of your life positively for you and your loved ones
  • You need it because your mindset and decision-making process have brought you to this point
  • Without help, you are prone to repeat the same mistakes over and over again

It is easier said than done but one must make a conscious effort to overcome. Learn to forgive and love yourself in the process – If you don’t, you will treat others the way you presently treat yourself.

Accept Who You Are; You Are Important

You were created as an extraordinary human being; you’re not a clone of anyone. You’re important because you were created for a purpose — that’s the reason you are alive. There’s none who is better at being you than you, and for those closest to you, they wouldn’t want it any other way.  You are simply irreplaceable.

You are valuable, appreciated and priceless.

Learn, Change and Inspire –
Add Value to Others

Life is a gift that has been entrusted to you for a while, so use the time to give of yourself. Add value to others. Your life matters to a lot more people than you can imagine, so be you, but don’t just remain at accepting who you are. Go beyond and be the best ‘you’ that you can be. By becoming a better version of yourself, you will also be creating a better life experience for others, as you learn, change and inspire. 

Every day, your top priority is to be better than yesterday – to be transformed so you can always function at your “best self” and positively influence your world. It is in making an effort to live for others that you will discover your own sense of purpose and worth.

Do Not Compare – Use the Success of Others as Inspiration.

Don’t judge yourself based on other people’s success. Success is not determined by material wealth, academic background or status, but by the working out and fulfillment of purpose.  As long as you know your purpose and reason for living, you should seek to increase your value in that area through learning, in whatever form.

  • What is your purpose in life?
  • Are you fulfilling it?
  • Have you prepared for it academically or otherwise?
  • Are you willing to share this value with others?
Volunteer to help someone or an organization. Use that time of giving to discover joy, discover your passions and inner strengths. This will improve your outlook and build your self-worth. Click To Tweet
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Set Goals, Achieve and Celebrate

Set short and long-term goals! Be realistic, practical and pursue them with all the vigor and energy that you can muster. Think of your future self already in the accomplishment. Let that be your motivation. Meditate on this every day and work hard to realize your goals. No one will do it for you.

When you have accomplished some goal, celebrate yourself. It is better to be five years older having obtained your achievement than to be five years older without it. Age does not matter.

Take Control Now, Your Destiny Is Still in Motion

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Stand in the mirror. Love the person you see. By faith believe everything that has happened to you has happened for a reason. That all of life’s events have shaped your character to better prepare you for “today.” Learn from your failures. This will be a big part of your comfort going forward. Embrace it and walk in that authority and confidence.

Your personal storms will affect others. They are others awaiting your storm to end so they can benefit from a changed you.

That’s a fact. That should be one of your greatest motivators. Your victory may be a victory for them as well. Be encouraged! Beating yourself up will not make you stronger. It will only delay your progress.

Get going. Do it now!

I suggest the following article: How to be happy and positive, Discover joy

We want to hear from you. Please comment below.

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David Eversley

David is a musician and IT professional with a passion for writing. When he is not doing any of the above, he can be found watching funny videos and eating chocolates. Laughter (and chocolates) is the best medicine!

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22 Replies to “How to Get Rid of Low Self-Esteem and a Wrong Mindset”

  1. As someone who suffered from low self-esteem up until age 15-16, I can truly appreciate this article. It’s important to make goals and find a mentor and/or counselor. And when I say goals, it’s important to make “baby step” goals. By this I mean you don’t want to set your goal to be 100% confident in yourself overnight, but rather make smaller improvements, such as learning to complement yourself here and there. Thanks so much for posting this article!

  2. To change ones mind can be a challenge but it is necessary to get forward in life. I like that you said that we should accept who we are and renew and transform ourselves daily.

    It is a task to not look at the next person and compare yourself to them. Its really not fair to ourselves but I think as humans we do it by default. So keeping in mind not to do this is the key.

    To get rid of low self esteem has to be a willing act of the individual. I struggle at times with low self esteem and have to talk my self out of this low place. It is a challenge but I’m a witness it doesn’t have to ruin you.

    1. Hey Jamie! It’s never easy. Like you said it’s a challenge, but it’s worth trying and making the sacrifice. You are important and unique, so no need to compare yourself to anyone. Build yourself up by speaking life and encouraging yourself. Walk in your own purpose.

      Blessings!

      David

  3. Hey there! I work in an office and most of the times I’m just by myself because I’m too shy to talk with my office mates. Sometimes we do presentations in our office and I always stutter because I’m not used to it. I have low self esteem and I want to get rid of it. Luckily, I read your article. I found your article very informative and helpful. I hope that I get confidence now and make my self esteem higher. Thank you for sharing this information.

    1. You are very welcome, John. You just have to believe in yourself. You are unique and have a purpose on this earth. That’s why you were born. You are not here by accident. You are more important than you know. Change your mindset with God’s help.
      All the best and more.
      David

  4. Thanks for this helpful article! I love the sentiment about not comparing yourself to others. For one thing everybody’s different, and everybody has different goals.
    Plus, somebody who looks happy or successful (or whatever it is you might envy) on the outside may not truly be any of those things in reality. I think you just have to love yourself and look for what makes you happy, not what somebody else tells you should make you happy.

    Why do you think humans are so pre-wired to compare themselves to others?

    1. Thanks Will for visiting and taking the time to read and comment. You are quite right. We should be maximizing and using our own gifts and abilities to serve others.

      All the best to you.

      David

  5. You tend to give others such good advice to overcome this problem but fail to heed your own advice for yourself. You often find that you neglect yourself in trying to be there for everyone else making sure they’re happy and forget your existence. You have to remind yourself that you’re in charge of your own happiness. No one can do it for you except you. It’s ok to say no sometimes and just do you but no does not exists in your vocabulary unfortunately. I am still learning how to say no up to this very day. Keep trusting and praying that it will get better as each day passes by.

    1. Well said, Che! Yes, I agree that sometimes one must say ‘no’ in order to get ahead. There must be balance. You have to make time for you, and others will respect that space as long as they see that you mean business.
      I have found that the best approach is to develop a personal vision and go after it bit by bit.

      Thanks for sharing and I do hope that you get to accomplish all that you were meant to be.

  6. Hi David. You have written a very interesting article. Many people today suffer from lack of confidence which often leads to low self worth.Unfortunately most of us tend to measure our success by looking at what others have achieved, when all we really need to do is to be happy with where we are and what we are. This doesn’t mean we can’t desire or try to obtain a better financial and personal life, but that we don’t try to measure our own achievement levels and others. Your blog touches some important areas of both our business and personal lives. I will definitely return to read some more of your educational articles. Thanks Jim

    1. Hi Jim! Thanks very much for taking the time to read and respond. You have made some good observations here. I like what you said about being “happy with where we are and what we are.” It’s on this foundation that we can proceed to build up ourselves going forward. Too many times we miss out on life, opportunities and happiness because we focus on the wrong things. With the right perspective and mindset, we can begin to live in the way we we meant to. 

      Thanks again!

      David

  7. Hi David,

    Some positive things that I liked best  from your post:

    Love yourself and find joy in helping others.  Forgive those who have wronged you and move forward.

    You cannot love others if you don’t love yourself.

    Everybody needs to have self-esteem, so our world is a better place to live. 

    Thanks for the inspiration.

    Marita

    1. Hey Marita!

      Thanks for taking the time to share. I am glad that you have found some value in this article. I consider it an important topic. Too many times I have seen people suffer and become ineffective, depressed and stagnant because of low self-esteem issues.

      A mindset has to be destroyed and rebuilt if any change is to come about.

      Thank you & all the best! 

      David

  8. I like your tip to celebrate goals. I probably don’t celebrate an achieved goal nearly as much as I should, but just move on to setting new goals. This inspires me to do something totally different with my goals and I think I will get a lot out of making a big celebration out of my achieved goals. very motivating – thank you

  9. Good day David
    I fully endorse your statement, ‘Don’t judge yourself based on other people’s success in any way.’ This is a motto which I have adopted for myself and have passed it on to others, especially parents. I have seen children scoring low grades and parents compare them to their class mates who got higher grades. I always advice them to stop putting unnecessary pressure on their child, the reasons being all children :
    1. are not academically on the same level
    2. do not develop at the same rate
    3. have their own unique way of seeing the world and learning in various ways and through different media.

    I always advice to compare the child against him/herself. That is, if a child gets 30% today, encourage him/her to aim higher on the next occasion. If the mark increases then success has been achieved. Children should never be allowed to feel like a failure because a classmate got a higher grade.

    1. Hi Sharon
      I do love that approach you use. Comparing/competing against oneself is the best a way to measure real progress in an individual. This just means that everyone has a different expected output based on their inherent potential. We all have different levels of gifts/abilities and therefore, we should use whatever we have to the maximum. My 60% may be someone else’s 100%.

      Thanks for sharing. Much appreciated, Sharon.
      David

  10. I have had low self-esteem issues in the past and I found it really hard to snap out of it for a long time. I couldn’t even look in the mirror at myself most days as I didn’t like what I saw, and if I did I would hate myself even more than I did if that was even possible.

    It took me a while but with the help of my family and friends I now have a huge love for myself and have taken control of my life and I’m proud of everything that I achieve.

    I have my own online business which has helped me take control of my life and give me direction is can see the path that I want my life to go down.

    Do you think meditation would keep me from losing my way in life?

    1. Hi Matthew!

      We sometimes define “beauty” by other people’s standards, television’s apparent norms etc. Understandably, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to these “mindsets” created for us and especially if culture reinforces this belief.
      I am happy that you have found your way and I’m sure looking back, the “self-hatred” wasn’t worth the effort. Every one of us is important and created perfectly by our creator, we just have to believe it and accept ourselves in our own skin – not someone else’s.

      About meditation? I personally don’t subscribe to any type of meditating unless it’s within the bounds of prayer, personal reflection, concentration or thinking deeply about any number of things. “Your way in life” is determined by the principals, and values you have allowed to govern you, (you and your belief system), but ultimately, you are the one who will make any decision concerning your future.

      Thanks for sharing from your heart and congratulations on your online business.

      All the best and bountiful success to you and yours.

      David

  11. Hello David and thank you for this nice article!

    Unfortunately, low self-esteem has become very common these days due to the comparisons you mentioned that have become very popular with all these social media platforms and watching other people posting their activities and experiences there.

    I agree with the methods you mentioned in your post on how to overcome the low self-esteem problem. 

    I would like to add another method that I personally benefit from, which is taking action continuously and trying new things and taking the risk anyway even when we fear the rejection and the embarrassment.

    When we keep overthinking we create scenarios that might never happen and we fear their results and we stop taking action, and as a result, our self-esteem goes lower and lower every day.

    While if we take the action, we will realise that most of what we were afraid of, never happens. And when it does happen, its results are insignificant or even won’t affect our life or our look in any negative way. I gain more confidence every time I take an action even if I don’t get the results I desired.

    Thank you for your article and tips again David!

    Amjad

    1. Hi Amjad!
      I absolutely love your method. There is much wisdom in taking action in spite of the risks and whether we fear embarrassment and rejection. That’s bound to bring someone out of rut eventually. Unfortunately, some are too burdened and have reached a state where they need help. You have listed a practical approach to overcome this grave disposition.

      I like this pragmatic approach and this certainly is a way out a wrong mindset.

      Thanks for sharing and adding value to this article.
      All the best.
      David