(Last Updated On: August 1, 2019)
What is flirting? Why do people flirt? Many people flirt without even knowing they do. Are you one of them? Knowing the answer is paramount because you don’t want people to think of you as a flirt. Most women (especially) despise flirts. Don’t think too highly of yourself if you are a man and do this. Ahem…
Some of us don’t even fully understand what flirting is and how it affects others. Some are appalled at the idea that you are flirting and some are embracing. It all depends on the situation and whether it’s appropriate at the time and with the right person.
So, ask yourself this question and be honest with your answer… Am I a flirt?
If you are, then you are out of line by most standards. Better yet, ask your friends to tell you whether you are. You may be in for a surprise. If the answer is yes, don’t debate it. There are some things you just have to trust your friends to tell you.
As long as you accept the possibility that you do flirt, you can work on adjusting your interactions with the opposite sex; namely, recognizing what the flirting signs are. I will be discussing these shortly but first let’s look at a few things.
Flirting is a touchy topic. Especially when discussed between couples who have since tied the proverbial knot. The irony is that this little emotional device is embedded in us humans and was most probably used in the initial meeting up of each other. However, after a healthy relationship has been established, it is somewhat expected that this part of us should be turned off — i.e. toward others.
Here is why this should happen. According to its definition, even though flirting can be a social chit-chat, it can also be an expression of sexual behavior.
Flirting (teasing) can be meaningless fun between two persons who genuinely like each other or enjoy playful banter. They have no intention at all of becoming intimate. On the other hand, it can also be a mask for some deeper sexual intention and improper to pursue. In the latter case, flirting is used as a hook and bait while hoping for a catch.
This highlights another complexity in human behavior… who is to say that each party involved is “innocently” flirting? One may be innocent and the other interested in that deeper relationship and may want the flirting to continue. Both may be innocent or both may be pursuing something deeper. What is the solution here then? I believe the answer lies within the parties involved and must be checked against the following signs below.
What is Flirting?
Top 10 Flirting Signs
- “Teasing” is the conversational norm — That’s all you ever do
- Sexual arousal is evident during the conversation
- Blushing – (dead giveaway)
- Your voice changes – for men, it
dropsin pitch; for women, it may raise – (dead giveaway)
- Excessive or unnecessary touching
- Prolonged smiling and excitement
- You find yourself overly paying compliments
- Awkwardness or nervousness when alone (together)
- Prolonged eye contact – or sneaking a few glances every now and then
- You are offended if someone else joins the conversation
I am sure there are more signs but permit me to stop here for now.
It happens naturally as part of the initial meeting, and courting periods (also in healthy marriages). It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a natural quality of us human beings when we are attracted to one another.
Flirting — When It Is Improper?
- If flirting is happening outside of your present relationship or marriage, that’s a no-no. It’s emotional adultery. If you play with fire you are almost certain to get burned.
- You are not interested in the person, but you know that the person is interested in you. Don’t play with people’s feelings.
If you are unmarried, available and you flirt when you see a potential relationship prospect, then, by all means, go ahead. However, if you are already in a relationship or married, then engage in “politically correct,” respectable conversation.
See the person as an extended sister or brother and enjoy their company. That’s it! We human beings have more power and control than we give ourselves credit for.
Let’s ask ourselves this question. Am I flirting inappropriately? If the answer is yes, then seek to guard your present relationship, family (and your future) by adjusting your attitude accordingly.
Now, by all means, go ahead and flirt away with your significant other.
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