A Story About a Missing Mom

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(Last Updated On: March 15, 2019)

On her birthday and on the approach of the third anniversary of my mother’s passing, I pondered about whether to write a tribute to her in this forum or to keep it to myself.  Well, now you know what I’ve decided, here goes… there’s so much I could write.

Red rose

I know there are many moms out there but I can only speak for one.  I salute all mothers. I don’t want to come across as selfish. Anyway, this is my tribute to all mothers, and my own – a true “better human being.” 

Sacrifices Beyond Measure

My mother was the epitome of selflessness. A woman dedicated to helping others even to the point of great personal sacrifice. Across the breadth of the country she visited family, the incapacitated young and the old, shut-ins, the sick and members of churches who were unable to commute. Wherever there was a need she would be the one to fill the void. Her unparalleled compassion mirrored that of her Lord Jesus Christ. She was loved by many and her life was a remarkable inspiration to all.

Her personal philosophy was that all should come together to help those who were in need. This she would fervently articulate whenever she became aware of a need and she thought that no one cared to help.  Any hint of disagreement with her reasoning concerning this irritated her immensely.

Many would often remark on seeing her everywhere and carrying quite a bit of load. What many didn’t know was that “load” contained household items which she would use to give aid to those she was visiting. There were also bags of groceries to distribute, seeds and plants for the garden and clothes for some.

She Put Everyone Before Herself

Even in the face of possible danger, a vagrant or a mentally unstable person would benefit from money, a meal or advice. Any warning to her about her safety was ignored. Helping was just in her nature no matter the sacrifice. Yes, she was stubborn, but she meant well.

Though sometimes her compassion would be taken advantage of, she never changed her personal stance on providing some kind of solution to any need she had become aware of.  What we learned soon enough was never to leave any utility bills or mention anything that was needed in her presence; though she would go into observation mode on arrival and become the bionic woman. 

We would whisper things among ourselves we didn’t want her to hear, but to our surprise, with her super hearing, she would recite everything we said to our amazement, saying “You all think I can’t hear you?” This would sometimes result in a call (from a store) the following day to come and collect some item she bought.

Whenever we became aware of a visit from her, we would call ahead to warn the children to wash the dishes, take out the garbage etc. Failing this, she would hasten to undertake these chores as soon as she landed.

She Bought My First Musical Instrument

Guitar for song You are here

Since I was raised by my dad, there were times when I didn’t see her for quite a while. I remember back in primary and secondary school, she would just appear at the school to check on how I was doing. Those were very fond moments.  When she became aware of my musical abilities, she sacrificed and bought me my first musical instrument – a guitar.  She was that in touch despite the separation.  Listen to this song below

I wrote and performed some years ago. I dedicate it to her.

Her Sudden Illness

The unusual origin of Mummy’s type of illness confounded the doctors, but she was brave in spite of her pain, tests and numerous visits to the doctor.

Her illness brought the family together as we would look forward to bonding in her presence and attend to her every need. We enjoyed going to the doctor together and we surprised many a doctor when we all squeezed into their offices to hear the latest news. 

We also enjoyed being at her beck and call. In a childlike manner, she reached out both arms to us for help to shift her position or for paper to wipe her face.  We certainly will miss her dry humor that would lighten the moments and have us all laughing, even though it was in the midst of pain…She was a brave and strong woman in every way.

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Her Last Day on Earth

On the morning of her death in the midst of great pain, she sang her favorite songs, recited psalm 23 and thanked those present for coming to visit her. It was significant in that she hugged or held persons with both hands and said “Thanks for coming…hear?” Around 10:20 that same morning, Mummy would hold me with both hands and say “David…your mother is gone, David, your mother is gone.”  Holding both hands was significant to her as she firmly requested, “Hold the other one.”

The service mummy wanted to attend for the final time on Sunday, December 6, 2015, didn’t materialize. However, she had her final service in the presence of family and friends anyway, that morning of Dec. 4th. There is no grief like this…

For those of you with mums still alive. Treat her like royalty every moment you can…and then do it some more. Tell her how much you love and appreciate her. Bless her in any way humanly possible. She deserves it. Click To Tweet

To you, great fathers out there, don’t feel left out. She could not have been a mother without you.  Thank you for choosing, caring and being with mom all this time. We love you too!

There are so many things I would like to say about her but I’m sure you have heard enough and are thinking about your own mother. Please share in the comments below something about your mom. We would love to hear.

For those of us who have lost a mother, let us treat others the way we wished we could treat her now. Let’s continue to impact our generation by living out her legacy.

Do it now!

Dedicated to Stephen, Mark & Sonia

Mummy Eversley

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16 Replies to “A Story About a Missing Mom”

  1. This is such a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your mum and your tribute song was both moving and inspirational. I thinks it rings true to all mums through all times – and a reminder to those who still have their mums to be forever grateful for the sacrifices they carry out.
    May she rest in peace.

  2. So many can learn lessons from your story. Your mom was an unsung hero, doing all she could to take care of those around her.
    When we meet people who make the type of sacrifices as your mom, they are not always appreciated, but instead taken advantage of. You’re mom knew the good outweighed the bad as she touched many hearts and souls through her journey.
    Her gift to you was the gift of sound though music allowing you to touch hearts and souls in a different way.
    I enjoyed your tribute to your mom. May great memories and blessings continue to inspire you and embrace you family.

  3. Lost my mother in 2006. I’m a performing songwriter so I wrote her a song then as well, called “Love Like Momma’s”. Helps to handle the grief a lot to honor a loved one in song. Then, in continuing beauty, whenever it’s heard or sung again in the future, that bond reminder is just as strong; just as lovely.

    My mom was a Christian woman as well, and showed sacrificial love as you described, but I don’t think as much as your mom! It sounds like she truly wanted to walk in Christ’s footsteps and do what He did. How very proud you must be of her humility and care for others.

    Good reminder to hold our loved ones close. I thought I’d get more time with my mother. The day before I had planned to visit her again she went to be with the Lord. Seems typical that we always wish for one more day, just one more… But I suppose we would want that regardless of how many hundreds of years of days we’ve had.

    Did your mother pray out loud at all? My mom used to, and it’s a precious memory to me. Her voice when she prayed had more sweetness, devotion, humility and love than any other time I remember. I bet her first meeting with Jesus was quite something.

    Thanks for sharing your mom with us and honoring her legacy and our mom’s too. Enjoyed the song.

    1. Thanks TJ.  First of all I’m very sorry to hear about your mum as well, but I am happy that you share in the joy of fond memories and sacrificial love.  That’s a great inspiration for us moving forward.  

      As a musician, it seems very appropriate to offer some kind of musical tribute.  This song was written before but I featured it because of the guitar.  Would love to hear your song.


  4. Hi
    As I read this article it brought back many good memories of my mum who also passed in 2015. We will never fully understand the sacrificial love of a mother until we have walked in her shoes. Mothers give of their time, energy and themselves and children do not fully comprehend such love.
    I only appreciated my mum the way how I should when I became an adult and a mother, myself. I found out how hard it was, using trial and error. Although counseled by mother themselves, I had to experience the joys and sorrows for myself and find my way through the maze.
    I remember the frustrations of my mother as she tried to solve the problems among her seven children. This was further compounded by spousal problems. Not understanding what she was going through then, how we must have burdened her with our own selfish desires. Yet, as mum, she did her best.
    I now give three cheers for mums everywhere:

    1. Hi Sharon!
      Thanks for sharing. What you said is very true. We only tend to appreciate and understand when we are in the same position. We were quite selfish indeed.
      I join you in that noble salute…

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